forgive (?)

just for this time, i wanna shout out loud, getting highly emotion. it makes me feel so weird. i was chatting with darryl for maybe around 30 minutes, but i got mad. really. just for this resolution of 2012, i push myself to not giving some curses. God, lead me to Your way. i have to forgive but it's just sucking me. i-hate-don't know who, maybe this man or only this conversation. i believe, he has a good heart if he could control his mouth seriously. we were discussing about my ever short hair, then he said that it really doesn't matter how short your hair is, as long as you have a good heart. i damn did so agree, then i told him that i was not a kind of good girl so i wanna try my best this year. that's all. and what he typed just successfully made me want to kill him badly. 
he said, "people said, if you wanna try your best, you don't need to tell this to anyone". 
o please, i didn't do an oscar speech, i was just telling what was on my mind to the one who i-maybe-still-trust (?). you got my answer, dude. i don't give a shit for what other people say. i am me, and me is just right. you know D, i ever loved you. i'm proudly putting a word only 'ever'. but i never hate you even for millions of time you broke me away into pieces. you were the only my ever guy could do these tracks all over again to me. i really never feel your love, even for once in my life. note this to yourself. you said i hurt you, but please think about it nicely..how-about-you?